If my second in command hadn’t been rubbish today, I wouldn’t have met Alan.

The former went home after work this afternoon, even though she was supposed to meet me in town. So, I may have sat in the Split Chimp a while before I realised that my significant other’s communication skills, or lack thereof, would prevent our meeting.

And, as for Alan. Well, he fell asleep in Wetherspoons, after a bottle of wine or, most likely, a couple.

I’m sure he just needed a rest, but apparently it was deemed that he’d a medical\mental issue. I have to say that the man simply looked tired and in need of sleep.

But, no, the staff felt the need to call an ambulance. And, when the ambulance arrived, tests needed to be undertaken.

The end result, surprisingly, was Alan being taken home in the ambulance.

And that, in my modest opinion, is a huge waste of NHS resources. In my day, bar staff would’ve thrown him into a cab. At his cost.