The door of my eldest daughter’s washing machine recently parted company from the machine itself. On inspection, I could see that the door was attached with two screws, through the hinge, directly into corresponding holes in the front of the casing. The screws were short and probably self tapping, since there was nothing obvious to receive them. I effected a temporary repair, using silicone, knowing it would only last a day. It lasted two.

When the door once more rejoined the floor, I took it home to drill larger holes in the hinge to accommodate more substantial screws. The new metal drill bits, purchased when fitting stove pipes, worked a treat, drilling through 3mm of hinge in seconds. The replacement, slightly larger, screws fitted the hinge perfectly too. When finished, I removed the drill bit I’d used and inserted the original masonry bit.

On the morning of the day I’d arranged to return with the newly drilled door, I picked up the bag of new screws from the kitchen table (from among the other packs of screws I’d been considering) when leaving for work. At the last minute, I also decided to take the drill in case larger screws were needed.

That evening, after work, I attempted to re-fit the door. Unfortunately, it transpired that I’d pocketed the wrong packet of screws. They were too small and wouldn’t bite. So there was a trip home to collect the correct packet. Which were also slightly too small.

I returned this evening with larger screws. Which wouldn’t fit the holes in the bracket. Fortunately, I’d left my drill at my daughter’s, so I was able to drill larger holes. Or at least attempt to. Regrettably, the masonry bit proved to be wholly ineffective. So, once more, I needed to return home to collect the appropriate drill bits.

To conclude, my repair was successful. The door appears to be firmly reattached. Since my second in command had acted as taxi driver on both occasions, she may not have been entirely pleased with my errors. It’s possibly no coincidence that, as a reward for successfully repairing the washing machine, I was allowed to watch the Liverpool – Manchester United game this evening.