I was born in Sunderland. I grew up in County Durham, via New Zealand, but in 2004 I moved to Gateshead. It was a pretty random decision and it went tits up. 

I say tits up because I moved here with my (second ex) wife (to be at the time). It was never going to work out. And, of course, it didn’t. 

But it wasn’t all negative. The relationship might have died a horrible death, but at the end of the day I’m happy. There were a few agonising years, yes, but my time alone was something I needed to pull my head together. And I enjoyed it (once my head was sorted out).

And, after a while, I met my second in command. 

As You can see, she’s quite beautiful. 

I’m very happy with my second in command. In our little house (which we’ll quite possibly sell). 

And I’m very happy in Gateshead. We’ve both been accepted, even though I was born in Sunderland and my second in command likes football (Peterborough and Liverpool) and speaks with a funny accent. 

So, we’re now local. We’ve just been to see local blokes (from my local) play in the Academy in town. And they were damn good. 

A lot of people from our local pub (the Three Tuns) were there too, showing support. 

We were there because we’re local. We live in the Heed.