My second in command has a fear of sharks; not that we come across many in Gateshead. 

So watching a film involving people trapped in a cage at the bottom of the sea possibly wasn’t a great idea. 

And the inevitable happened. When a girl was suddenly attacked by one rather huge beast, my second in command shrieked, leaping into the air, knocking a can of beer from my hand. 

Everything is wet. I am wet.