Occasionally, usually when at a bar, or shopping, I’ll creep up on my second in command, put my hands on her waist (or back), and make a zombie-like noise in her ear. Sometimes, I’ll attempt a mock bite of her neck. 

Such an opportunity presented itself at breakfast this morning. I approached with my usual stealth while she placed an egg on her plate. I opted for her waist and a small growl, since there were a lot of people around. 

She didn’t jump as high as usual; I realised that she may have become accustomed to my attacks. And then my second in command appeared from behind me, offering a plate. At this point I noticed the poor woman I’d just assaulted, looking around in a confused manner. 

An apology was proffered.